Why I’m not an Agnostic

Why are you an agnostic? Because believing there is no god is too similar to believing there is one? But I don’t believe there’s no god; I know it. Excluding that annoying radical skepticism, of course. I also know my tv isn’t powered by tiny invisible leprechauns carrying electrons through a wire. But you want to keep that open as a possibility as well, right?

I’m ignoring here those who believe in god. There’s no way that dialogue will lead anywhere. And, god bless them, at least they’ve got convictions. But not you, agnostic. You say you want absolute proof. What would that look like? Does Jesus Christ himself have to come down and slap you? Or let’s say god doesn’t exist. That world would look pretty much like the one we’re in now. So it’s basically impossible for you to know.

See, the problem is you’ve really got nothing riding on it right now, by which I mean you’re alive. How about this: you’re not. You die. Right away you’re either going to hell since you didn’t spend your time praising god (it doesn’t matter which one, they all like to be praised. Kind of like Gen Y kids) or you’re just just dead–it’s over, no conscious, no nothing. Which would you prefer?

And there’s your answer.

Anyway, you’re already living like an atheist. If you were truly indecisive, you’d want to hedge on Pascal’s wager. Worship god, try to believe, because that way you’ve got an in; if you’re non-existent you can’t care if you’ve wasted your life. But you agnostics are the type of people who wouldn’t do this. You’re free-thinkers. You’re not dogmatic, so free yourself from the dogma of indecision. Stop living your life waffling and accept your true atheist self. You will be much happier once you’ve given up on those ancient myths and fairy tales that deep down you never believed anyway.