Why I’m not Chivalrous

Every morning I take the bus to work, and every afternoon I take it home.  Both ways I often board while seats are still available.  Eventually, being rush hour, the bus begins to fill up and people stand in the aisles.  Until recently I would, without thinking about it, get up to give my seat to a woman, but I’ve realized how problematic that is.  If a man is truly to be a feminist, does that require giving up chivalry?

Yes.  End chivalry now.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly give up my seat to an elderly woman.  Or man.  And I’m not rude; I hold open doors for people.  But this idea that women must be treated delicately, that there are certain things that must be done or not done in front of a “lady,” is detrimental to our culture and needs to be killed off and buried.

What was the last society to hold chivalry at its core?  The American South, in particular during the period of time when it still held on to an economy and society that looked strikingly feudal.  The South was, for most of American history, somewhat behind the times.  It was still agrarian after agriculture was industrialized elsewhere and culturally…we all know the results of the myth of white Southern womanhood.

I don’t want to be hyperbolic; of course chivalry doesn’t lead to murder anymore.  But although men no longer lay their jackets in the mud for a woman to walk over, they still believe there is certain verbal dirt that shouldn’t be brought up in front of women.  The thought is that women must be protected, looked out for, and not made to do certain things.  Society still has trouble with the idea of a woman speaking forcibly from a position of power, and the head of the household is still assumed to be a man.

In the rational, civilized world, most of us are of the mindset that these beliefs are archaic, and anyone who still thinks this way is a fool.  But it is in our actions that we, men and women alike, expose our true prejudices.  I feel guilt about not giving up my seat on the bus.  I get dirty looks from women for not doing so.  Most people still think men must ask out women, pay for the first date, be romantic, and be the one to propose marriage.  Men believe they must be the primary earner in the family.  Now, I realize these attitudes are crumbling rapidly, almost overnight, but my point here is that we need to watch ourselves.

So when I reach my stop, and I step back from the bus door to allow “ladies first,” think of how much backwards thinking goes into that one seemingly innocent and polite act.  We need to start living our convictions.

Why I’m not an Agnostic

Why are you an agnostic? Because believing there is no god is too similar to believing there is one? But I don’t believe there’s no god; I know it. Excluding that annoying radical skepticism, of course. I also know my tv isn’t powered by tiny invisible leprechauns carrying electrons through a wire. But you want to keep that open as a possibility as well, right?

I’m ignoring here those who believe in god. There’s no way that dialogue will lead anywhere. And, god bless them, at least they’ve got convictions. But not you, agnostic. You say you want absolute proof. What would that look like? Does Jesus Christ himself have to come down and slap you? Or let’s say god doesn’t exist. That world would look pretty much like the one we’re in now. So it’s basically impossible for you to know.

See, the problem is you’ve really got nothing riding on it right now, by which I mean you’re alive. How about this: you’re not. You die. Right away you’re either going to hell since you didn’t spend your time praising god (it doesn’t matter which one, they all like to be praised. Kind of like Gen Y kids) or you’re just just dead–it’s over, no conscious, no nothing. Which would you prefer?

And there’s your answer.

Anyway, you’re already living like an atheist. If you were truly indecisive, you’d want to hedge on Pascal’s wager. Worship god, try to believe, because that way you’ve got an in; if you’re non-existent you can’t care if you’ve wasted your life. But you agnostics are the type of people who wouldn’t do this. You’re free-thinkers. You’re not dogmatic, so free yourself from the dogma of indecision. Stop living your life waffling and accept your true atheist self. You will be much happier once you’ve given up on those ancient myths and fairy tales that deep down you never believed anyway.